Good decisions. Who doesn’t want to make them? No matter where we come from or what our goals or priorities are, we’d all like to make good choices and at some level we recognize how impactful they are in our lives. Author Stephen Covey states, “I am not a product of my circumstances. I am a product of my decisions.” That’s a powerful statement and if that is even partially true, we absolutely want to make good choices; healthy choices; choices that take us in the direction of our dreams. Yet so many times despite the best of intentions and gritty resolve, we lapse into old choices that keep us stuck. What might that look like?
- Clutter in our homes or workspaces that interferes with our mood and effectiveness
- Unhealthy food choices that keep us from losing weight or improving our blood chemistry
- Being inactive. Lack of commitment & consistency with physical activity that leave us feeling guilty and uninspired
- Being in debt. Making decisions with money that don’t move us toward our goals. Undisciplined choices that create guilt and bad feelings about ourselves.
Okay, so if making poor choices can lead to such undesirable states, and we all would like to make good choices, how exactly do we do that???
It’s important to understand where our choices come from - their birthplace, if you will. In my own life, in an effort to motivate myself, I would purposefully conjure feelings of disgust & repulsion at a state I had let evolve, believing that if I were thoroughly grossed out and angry with myself, I would then make better decisions that would lead me out of the mess I was in. I have seen this with my coaching clients as well.
The problem is, when we are being badgered by that cruel inner critic, telling us what a hot mess we are, how lazy or weak or disorganized we are, that isn’t motivating - it’s demoralizing.
I invite you to try this bold idea - What if you love & accept yourself as you are in this minute, right now? Can you do that? And why is this a bold idea? It is bold because to love and accept ourselves unconditionally IS bold. And it’s powerful.
Good, healthy decisions come from self-love, not self-hate.
Some people are afraid they won’t change if they accept themselves as they are, fearing they will lapse into complacency, but the opposite is true. When you genuinely love and accept yourself as you are, you believe you are worthy of good things, progress, and from that place are able to make the decisions that will move you in the direction of your dreams.