My Hardest Lesson

I am the youngest of 4 children, and though my father left when I was 7 years old, our home was a lively and loving one. I grew up on a street filled with aunts, uncles and cousins, and rarely spent time alone. There was always someone close by or with me.

At 19 I got married after my sophomore year in college, and essentially went from my mom’s home to creating a home with my new husband. After graduation Life picked up speed and it was 2 children, an international move, another baby, a move back home, and then I was deep into suburban life: Volunteering, teaching Sunday School, company parties for my husband, vacations, the whole 9 yards, and definitely very little time alone.

Twenty years later, I was at a breaking point. While the above story sounds all shiny and happy, it wasn’t totally. Through all of that, a serious distance had grown between my husband and me and with the kids out of the house in college, it became very obvious a change was required. 

I left, and for the first time in my life, at 47, I was alone. Alone, alone. Not the, “Ooh I’ve got 2 hours before they’re back,” or “Yay, I’ve got a weekend to myself,” but really alone. Just my beautiful rescue dog Annie and me. (Thank God for Annie <3).

I moved into a townhouse nestled on a small, quiet street. I now think of that place as my cocoon. It was….quiet. That townhouse felt cavernous and in those early days I felt lonely and overwhelmed. 

Often when faced with feelings like that we reach for something to distract us, to keep us from feeling those uncomfortable or scary feelings. Yet somewhere inside me, I knew I had to learn this lesson; what some people learn in their 20s I was sidling up to in my late 40s. It was time.

So I sat with this quietness, this space. I sat with the loneliness, the uncertainty, the uncomfortableness, and the blank canvas that was my Life at that point. And I am so very thankful that I did, because in the gift of that space, a new thing was born. (emerged?) 

One day during the difficult separation, I was getting ready to go to work, feeling especially sad and guilty, I was wiping the table of my little apartment after breakfast, and the book I was reading, A New Earth, by Eckhart Tolle literally jumped open to a page, where there was only 1 sentence I had underlined:

Space is being created for something new to emerge.

While I took comfort from that at the time, it was only months later that I came to appreciate that quiet space, where my love of all things spiritual began, that has led me to where I am now. 

Is Life providing circumstances for you to learn a needed lesson? If so, I encourage you to embrace that opportunity. Great things wait on the other side. And if you need some support or encouragement, or someone to hold your new vision with you, schedule a coaching call with me. It is my passion to assist with learning Life’s lessons.


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