Let’s face it – no one likes to worry. It is not an enjoyable feeling to have. Worry causes us to suffer physically as well as emotionally, yet many of us spend massive amounts of time worrying about one thing or another. But it doesn’t have to be that way. It is possible to love our friends and family and care about our jobs, community and the world, but not subject ourselves to worry as a matter of habit. Let’s dive in….
Worry is the mental tension and stress created when we imagine unpleasant outcomes in the future. When we worry, we are using our powerful imagination to scare the socks off of ourselves. We all smile indulgently at the 5 year old who is afraid there’s a tiger under her bed, but don’t we do the same thing when we imagine we’ll never find a job or a partner? That we’ll die in poverty and alone?
For this discussion, I’d like to break what we worry about into 2 categories: things that we have some agency or influence on, and things that we have no agency or influence on.
In the first category, you might find things like worrying about an upcoming presentation or interview. You might be worried about your health or how your budget will look this month. In these cases, worry can be replaced by preparation or appropriate action steps. If you’re worried about an interview, prepare for it. Do your research on the company, study good interviewing techniques on YouTube, and practice some possible responses. Plan your outfit and the route to drive there. As you take these steps, you’ll find the feeling of worry begins to subside, at least a little, as you become more prepared.
In the second category, you might find circumstances like worrying about your adult child and the choices they make, the health of an aging parent, political strife here and abroad, climate change and more. In this case the way we approach worry differs. Many times there are no action steps we can take to ameliorate the situation. But worrying about it doesn’t help.
Worry is seductive. It makes us feel like we’re “doing something,” but it is not insurance against anything unwanted happening. It only robs us of our joy in this moment.
When the issues that worry you are out of your control, I recommend two things: Pray about it. If praying isn’t something you’re accustomed to, visualize a happy outcome in your mind. Instead of imagining all the horrible things that might happen, use that incredible imagination of yours to see them resolved for the benefit of all. Then let it go. Your mind might tell you that you’re cold and unfeeling if you’re not worried about a certain situation, but you can tell your mind that you’ve done what you can, and you now choose peace.
Worry is a very easy habit to slip into, but I encourage you to pause and reflect on what worries you. Is it something you can influence? If so, take necessary steps and replace your worry with preparation. If the things that weight heavy on your heart and mind lie outside of your control, pray about them or visualize positive outcomes. But in either case, protect your peace of mind and well-being by not giving into the folly of worry.
If you would like some help in worrying less or any other aspect of enjoying your life experience, please schedule a free 30 minute call. I’d love to talk with you!
